Morning not so glory
by PandaPrincess79
Summary: Renji makes breakfast for Ikkaku, and things turn awkward. Implied Ikkaku/Yumichika


A/N Hello, Fanfic readers! I would like to dedicate this fic to my older sister FreakySheikah, she loves Bleach, but especially Squad 11. This is based on a weird conversation I had with her about Renji being a total hippie. Please go check out her account, she's a good writer! WARNING! This fic contains implied IkkakuxYumichika, my sister's OTP. I do not own Bleach, or it's characters. They are owned by Tite Kubo, and Shonen Jump.

Please enjoy ~ PandaPrincess79

"Yo... Ikkaku."

No reply.

"Hey, dude, are you awake?"

Still no answer.

Renji snapped his fingers in Ikkaku's ear.

_Jeez, what a hard sleeper, _he told himself.

"Ugh, whadda you want?" Ikkaku said as he flopped over on his side.

"Duuude, I made breakfast!"

Ikkaku looked at Renji, who was wearing a huge grin.

"Since when did you start making breakfast?" he asked, "Do you need something?"

Ikkaku pulled himself out of bed and onto the floor.

"No, I just made some food; you know what they say, bro, breakfast is the mos-"

"Important meal of the day, yadda yadda..."

"Well, come on, Grumpy," Renji said, though it bothered the crap out of Ikkaku.

He followed Renji into the Squad Eleven kitchen. It smelled good, like... muffins... but more importantly to Ikkaku... Bacon.

"Y-you made bacon?" Ikkaku asked as he looked towards Renji.

"Yeah, man; dig in, bro."

He pointed towards a perfectly cooked pan of bacon.

Ikkaku's mouth started to water: _so much fried goodness! _One bite, and you're in heaven! (Well, technically, they are in heaven...)

Ikkaku grabbed a plate and placed about twelve pieces of the greasy pig candy on it. He would have gotten more, but he thought maybe Renji would want some. Ikkaku took a seat at the table and started chowing down on some of the delicious meat. Renji walked up to the table,

"What do you think you're doing, bro?"

Ikkaku glared up at him with a mouthful of bacon, covering the rest with his hand.

Renji smiled.

"You can't eat bacon, you need some grain!" He placed a blueberry muffin on his plate.

Ikkaku let out a sigh of relief- he thought Renji was going to steal his bacon!

Renji took a seat across from Ikkaku.

"You sound like Yumichika, always trying to get me to eat healthy... Well, what he calls healthy, I call crap!"

Renji looked at Ikkaku; he had an "I-just-peed-myself" expression on his face.

Ikkaku raised an eyebrow, swallowing his tenth piece of bacon.

"Yumichika... is a _dude?" _Renji said. "Woah... I thought he was a chick..."

Ikkaku stopped eating his bacon. He swallowed.

"What was that?" he asked.

"W-well, I just thought he was a chi-"

"MY BOYFRIEND IS NOT A GIRL!" Ikkaku yelled.

"Are we clear?" Ikkaku asked with an evil smile.

Renij nervously nodded. He never thought of Ikkaku as gay... Ikkaku went to go get "seconds", or, more bacon. He sat back down, eating piece after piece of the beautiful creature's fried meat.

Renji felt that he had offended Ikkaku, so he decided to make small-talk.

"So... How is it?" He nervously asked as he twiddled his thumbs under the table.

Ikkaku paused and looked up at him. Renji started internally panicking; _how could that have possibly offended him? _he thought.

"It's delicious? I mean, how do you get the muffins so moist? And bro, seriously, this bacon is the best I've ever had... The fat is so buttery..."

Renji was confused.

"The... fat?" he asked.

"Yeah... it's awesome..." Ikkaku said, his mouth stuffed.

Renji started cracking up.

"WHAT?" Ikkaku yelled as little bacon bits flew out of his mouth.

"You've been eating soy bacon with vegan, gluten-free muffins with bananas instead of eggs!" he continued to laugh.

Ikkaku spit out all of his food and leapt out of his seat.

"WHAT THE HELL, BRO? That's just... sick!" yelled Ikkaku as he left for the door.

"I'm going to train," he said as he left.

Renji walked over to Ikkaku's plate; he picked it up and threw the remains in the trash.

"What a waste of food," he said.


End file.
